I can’t think of a human activity more poorly understood than sex. In 2018, we’re still having heated debates over what counts as sexual harassment, and dealing with abstinence-only sex education in schools. We see this lack of understanding manifest as attacks on women’s health care, needlessly high STI rates, and hatred and stigma for individuals whose sexuality is considered less acceptable.
We can (and should!) protest and vote in lawmakers that support common-sense solutions to these issues, but social norms tend to shift a little faster than laws, especially in this era of hyperconnectivity. This is why I’m such a staunch supporter of MakeLoveNotPorn.tv, a video-sharing platform dedicated to making images of #realworldsex accessible, acceptable, and shareable.
Imagine if YouTube allowed content creators to upload personal sex videos. Hypothetically, social media platforms would be MLNP’s competition, not pornography. The idea is to make sharing images of our sex lives as normal as sharing images of our Sunday brunch. These two indulgent moments really aren’t so different from each other!
The process is simple enough: everyday people aim a camera at their intimate moments, upload them to the site, and viewers rent individual videos for three weeks at a time. Along the way, creators are guided by the content curator, who ensures that all submissions are consensual, contextualized, and porn-cliché free.
To be clear, Make Love Not Porn is not on a mission to wipe out porn. The company tagline is actually pro-sex, pro-porn, pro-knowing the difference. Porn will always have its place in our culture as entertainment and fantasy. In fact, the entire internet as we know it only exists because of our propensity for this content.
Porn is wonderful! I love it myself, and even review episodes of Crash Pad Series from my favorite smut-peddlers, Pink & White, here on my blog. However, most porn is not meant to model real sex or educate about it. Unfortunately, in a society steeped in puritanical values, with wary teachers and parents calling the shots, this is exactly what ends up happening. Video content may indeed be the best way to start this conversation. There’s just a much better way to present it.
On Make Love Not Porn, you see so many things you rarely see in actual porn, like bodies of various shapes, sizes, and colors. People of all genders and sexual identities are presented without fetishization. There’s much more lightheartedness: joking, flirting, mishaps, even flatulence. You’ll see sex toys, barriers, and lube being used liberally and without shame. There’s so many different types of sex being shown. Intimate sex! Outdoor sex! Lazy sex! It’s all there, and from real-life lovers, most of whom have never even recorded themselves before.
Lights, Camera… Action 😉
There is no one way to reach MLNPstar-dom. You can be completely anonymous and post only once, or maybe you want to build a following and turn your Real World Sex into a full-on side hustle (since creators earn half the revenue!) Your options are limitless. But don’t take it from me; MLNP stars are happy to speak for themselves.
Using fancy cameras and lights for a cinematic experience can be lots of fun, but you can still make an awesome video by simply propping up your camera/phone on your dresser. You can perform solo, with a partner, or in a group. Your clip can be five minutes or forty-five minutes. The only requirement is that you keep it real: you’re not performers, you’re just people! The sex you normally have is already amazing, and that’s exactly what we want to see.
Join The Revolution!
Humans are social beings to the core. We develop our self-image and model our behaviors largely based on the people around us and the images created of them. This is why traditional social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram are so wildly successful: peeking into each other’s personal lives has a profound impact on our own, whether we’re conscious of it or not.
Imagine if a platform like Make Love Not Porn could be listed alongside those other tech giants. Where would we be? Certainly, we’d be having more open and honest conversations about sex, which leads to better sexual experiences, which leads to better relationships and healthier families. Many MLNP stars even report better body image and higher self-esteem. Forgive my unbridled optimism, but it’s hard to see how growing this network isn’t a giant step toward world peace.
This is a Social Sex Revolution. Are you ready to join in? MakeLoveNotPorn.tv is seeking creators of all backgrounds to grace their roster, especially folks who are marginalized based on racial, gender, or sexual identities. For this effort to truly matter, we all need to be part of the conversation, especially if your voice has historically been stifled. If this sounds like you, please drop me a line at ariaxvega at gmail dot com. I’m here for all of your thoughts, questions, and concerns.
We can build the world we want to live in by sharing the love we make. How beautiful is that?