Note: The performer featured in this review uses new gender-neutral pronouns. Check out this guide for more information about proper pronoun usage.
I’ll be honest. Historically, when I would watch porn and other erotic videos, I almost never sought out masturbation scenes. Part of what I enjoy most about porn is watching the interplay between two (or more) performers. It’s often the closest I get to experiencing that dynamic myself.
For the last few years, sex has mostly been a solo venture for me. There are a lot of reasons for this, mostly related to trauma. During this time, I deeply desired more partnered sex, but it often felt too difficult. So self-pleasure it was. Sometimes, even that felt out of reach, an experience that is not uncommon.
Now that I’ve begun to pursue partnered sex more intentionally, my porn consumption has shifted away from “filling a void” and become a little more varied. A new interest in solo scenes has been part of that transition, and I’ve been thrilled to find some excellent Crash Pad episodes, especially older ones, that show me what I’ve been missing out on.
Episode 20 of the Crash Pad Series, starring Sweet Tea, begins with a cameo from the Keymaster, the mysterious voyeur that can be glimpsed behind the scenes in most, if not all, Crash Pad episodes. I laughed out loud when they stole Sweet Tea’s underwear under the guise of “laundry service” and bumped into hir while fleeing the scene of the crime. I love a little humor with my smut.
The second Sweet Tea enters the apartment, hir intentions are clear. Ze grabs a chair (armless of course, the most sex-friendly chair there is) plus a purple dildo and flops on the bed. Ze eagerly strips hir clothes, down to these adorable skull boyshorts, then after touching hirself underneath them a bit, off they go too. You get the sense that ze has waited for this moment all day.
I really love the naturalistic approach to the set design. This apartment really looks lived in, down to the bookcase in mild disarray. I know porn is all about fantasies, but realism can often fuel my own. I love it when a performer’s world feels this accessible.
So far, this is a hands-only affair. It’s so fun to watch Sweet Tea engage every part of the body in hir self-loving: hips grinding, hands running through hair and grabbing sheets, frequently switching positions… Even hir feet are engaged, rocking and flexing throughout. I can’t remember the last time I put this much energy into a solo sesh!
Then, Sweet Tea picks up the dil and hops off the bed. This dildo has a suction cup so deep it would probably hang from the ceiling. But for now, a nice wooden chair will suffice, and Sweet Tea rides it with a purpose. Dildos with suction cups are the best (check out a review of a similar one at Lupe.space) because you can thrust and grind on them like a flesh cock, leaving your hands free to explore another sensitive spot.
The chairfucking (is that a word? It is now!) is my favorite part of the episode because Sweet Tea gets to show off hir flexibility, stamina, and core strength all at once. I literally think to myself, maybe this is how I can make myself do cardio? Sweet Tea’s feet are even in midair half the time. At one point, ze hangs half hir body off of the chair but holds hirself up to keep playing with hir pussy. It’s all about the incentives, people, and pleasure is an effective one.
I’m obsessed with Sweet Tea’s little self-satisfied smirk before flopping onto the bed at the end. It’s not for the audience, it’s not for the Keymaster, it’s just for hir. Like she’s saying to hirself, damn, babe. That was really hot. Yep… it certainly was.