Review: Crash Pad Series, Episode 212

Vai sitting on stinging nettles in Crash Pad Series Ep. 212
Episode 212 is just so joyful.

I used to think I just “didn’t like porn,” but it turns out I was just looking for it in terrible places (never again, PornHub, never again). My discovery of ethical, queer, feminist porn like that of Crash Pad Series changed everything for me. Crash Pad has blessed me with many beautiful pornographic “firsts.” My first time seeing transgender, disabled, and fat performers featured prominently and proudly. My first time seeing women of color free of fetishized categorization. My first time witnessing fisting in all of its glory on screen.

I waded giddily into the ocean of content available to subscribers, astonished by its volume and variety. It didn’t take long to stumble upon another thrilling first: seeing ecosexuality, a sexual practice and/or identity through which one celebrates and explores their connection to Earth, depicted in porn. My inner nature witch was overjoyed.

Episode 212 features Lyric Seal and Vai. I was immediately drawn to Lyric’s body art and Vai’s mischievous grin. When the scene opens, the viewer is treated to close shots of a series of sensory delights: lusty expressions, textural clothing and plants, happy little giggles and moans. You’re meant to feel as immersed in these elements as the performers, and you totally do.


Lyric Seal and Vai connected by plants and their hair in Crash Pad Series Episode 212.
I’d love to know what this plant is called!

Now, I’m no herbalist. I can’t identify all of these lovely greens, but that’s fine. I’m just enjoying the crisp rustle of the stalks, and the way they physically link the performers, as nature links us all. I do know stinging nettle though, and my jaw fell open when Vai drops their pants and sits on the leaves to receive a blowjob. “Those nettles,” Lyric purrs, watching Vai writhe in blissful agony, “They’re talking to you!” What a clever little kink.

Connected is the term that keeps popping into my mind throughout this episode. The scene begins with Lyric and Vai sitting across from each other, making lots of eye contact, hair tied together, mirroring each other’s motions and sounds. They never lose that energy as they move on to giving each other some individual attention. Each person responds to their partner’s pleasure as if its their own.

I literally pumped my fist when Lyric pulls out the NobEssence Seduction. Hard material insertables are my favorite insertables, and I refuse to die before I experience a NobEssence creation. It fits into this scene perfectly, and Vai rides it like a champ.

Awe & Inspiration

Lyric being massaged with a bone by Vai in Crash Pad Series Ep. 212
I guess I need a massage bone now.

Vai is completely unselfconscious in their vocalizations, and it’s seriously hot. Guttural grunts, high squeals, deep moans, little whimpers, boisterous laughs…it’s all there. You can feel the sexual energy coursing through their body, and you see Lyric soaking in every bit of it.

When it’s Lyric’s turn to receive,  Vai starts by massaging and tapping a huge bone all over their chest and back. I’m so intrigued by this bone. What did it come from? Can you make dildos out of bone? Most importantly, where do I get one? Another item to add to the wish list, for sure. Vai fucks Lyric into the smiliest orgasm I’ve ever seen and they recover together with kisses and caresses.

I have revisited Episode 212 many, many times. These performers and their powerful chemistry are an utter joy to watch. I see myself in reflected in their exuberant love of Earth’s wonders, and their passion for pleasure. I’ve never connected to any erotic scene in this way before, and I immediately began fantasizing about how I could recreate it for myself.

It’s so inspiring to witness how a little creativity can extract sex toys from the natural world. Fucking in nature doesn’t have to mean sex on in a forest or beach (although these are certainly worthy pursuits). It’s possible to bring the nature to you, and breathe even more life into humanity’s favorite primal act.

There’s a brief coda where Vai splashes Lyric’s chest with water and flowers. Cutest cumshot ever.